My Story!

This is my story, and by all means, it is not posted for sympathy of any kind; but to demonstrate how God's love and healing has sustained me through it all ~ and it's available to you also. He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life as well as mine!

I have been divorced for almost 14 years and the first thing I want to say is, "No" I am not bitter about marriage or men. Even though I experienced physical and mental abuse, it is important in any union that is long or unhealthy, to heal physically, spiritually, and mentally. Well that process has taken longer for me than other people; however, I have experienced additional attacks to my body that has prolonged the process! Even though it has been daunting; I would not give up on God ~ or give in to Satan!

I had a severe sun allergy for 18 years ; and yes, I had to live with my blinds closed during the day, wear long sleeves year round, wear hats, carry umbrellas, and pretty much stay in a dark, closed in area during the day so that no sun light would come near me (Now I am Happy to say God healed me, August 30, 2013); my hands were attacked with severe swelling, scaring and blisters even the doctors could not figure out what it was or how to treat it (which they are still healing 4 years later); I was diagnosed with Graves disease (which is an over active or under active thyroid; mine was over active; that if not treated pretty quick, can cause heart failure); in addition to working at Amazon, I quickly found out that I was allergic to the gloves we had to wear ~my body has been under attack!

In between all of these attacks, I had foreclosed on a home, moved to an apartment and got evicted because I was not able to work, and when I was able to work, I was off more than 6 weeks at a time due to an allergic reaction to something that caused me to take a medical leave. All of these mishaps, I’ll call them (the bible calls it long suffering or endurance). I was determined to follow Christ and continue reading the word. Like Job said in verse 13:15 KJV, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him”.

When I thought all was well, I got optic shingles; whereas, the ER doctor said if I would not have come when I did, I would have lost sight in my right eye! I did not know what was going on with me because I would swell up at the drop of a hat, so the day I woke up and my right eye was swollen shut; I immediately called my daughter to please come and take me to the ER, because I could not see. When she came in the door, she said I looked like Quasimodo on the Hunchback of Notre Dame (by the way he had a good heart and cared deeply for others); and said in a semi-frustrated voice (because she was concerned; however, I had so many bouts of swelling it was unbelievable), “What’s wrong with you now? I also felt like someone had hit me upside my head in the middle of the night with a hammer. It was very painful and something I don’t want back~ ever again.

When you see those commercials about shingles and how painful it is~ they are true! I also had a complete hysterectomy that actually went well, but the timing was off, but when is it a good time for surgery? I have been evicted from an apartment, been foreclosed on a home, lived with my brother and sister-in-law once,  been back on my sister four times, my daughter twice and lived in a transitional home once (that was a nightmare also). The eight months I was at the transitional home, it was a poorly kept (well still is) place, and managed very oddly to me. But while my stay there, I was able to meet many women that had their own story to tell and opened my eyes to how many women such as these get no help ~ even at the home we all were staying in was not uplifting nor offered any type of programs to assist these women that needed Godly help! 

While I was there though, I felt as if they were always trying to harm me in some way; and this year in July; they did. I came in on a Wednesday evening from babysitting my granddaughter and when I opened the door, I immediately swelled up! The next day it went down a little, but overnight, my face looked worse than someone in a bad car wreck. On Friday, I called several family members to come and get me and take me to the ER. While I was waiting on someone to come and get me, one woman who assisted the manager looked at me and denied them being in my room and she turned her head snickered; as if to say, that’s what you get! So I went to the ER and had two doctors look at me and they both agreed they put a harmful chemical in the room that caused me to have that immediate reaction so quick. They also kept asking me if I had asthma or any breathing problems. I told them I have never had asthma. Well to make a long story short, it took over three months to heal from that. I had to have the three medicines I was on, filled twice, and an additional three months to feel whole! After I healed on the outside, my insides felt like a war was going on in my arms, ribs, legs, chest – everything! I was in so much pain after the swelling went down; it was hard for me at times to breath or stand up straight (which now makes sense why the doctors kept asking me if I had asthma)~ That experience was the worst I have ever encountered and something I will never forget!  Even as I am writing this, my arms are still scared from the swelling and blisters as well as my hands; which obtained even more damage from it.

I’m not sure if I can say I have been upbeat through it all, but I can say, I would not give up and I’m still determined to win this battle Satan has been trying to get me to surrender to! Through it all, I know that I will be a testimony to many women who are going through the fire ~ and I’m here to tell you, you will come out and not even have the smell of smoke!