What's your diagnosis?

I know what will cure your anxiety because the doctor helped me", a friend said. "I am on anti-depressants"! Another person was just so adamant their child has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and agreed to put their child on medication; which is an easy way out of taking responsibility for their actions and how they react to their child. There are times medication is necessary but it should not be the answer to a disorder that is malfunctioning do to wrong thinking and improper reactions to situations. There is no other diagnosis for it. When we are in stinking thinking mode, our lives begin to stink per say!

Anxiety is another form of worry. When anyone(adult or child) worries they feel in their mind that they can prevent whatever they are worrying about not to happen. However, all it is doing is creating sickness in the body. According to Rosalind Ryan UK, our body responds to worrying the same way it would to physical danger. Our adrenaline increases, the heart rate increases, we break out into a cold sweat, and we get into a defense state of mind to run or fight. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-97853/What-worrying-does-health.html)

Constant worrying can lead to ulcers, heart attacks, and strokes and even increase the risk of cancer. However, we still do it because we do not understand there is a better way. As mentioned above, there are times we do need a pill to assist in healing or put our chemical in balance back in balance, but it is not the answer to every situation. 

When we don't know better, we don't do better. I had the privilege of teaching a faith class at a correctional center in my home town and the women there with all of their diverse reasons they were incarcerated had the same answer, "No one ever told me about Jesus"! 

If you do not know Jesus, now is the time to get to know Him and once you do, your life will never be the same. He is the way, the Truth, and the Life!

Do not think that I have come to do away with or undo the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to do away with or undo but to complete and fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until the sky and earth pass away and perish, not one smallest letter nor one little hook [identifying certain Hebrew letters] will pass from the Law until all things [it foreshadows] are accomplished. Whoever then breaks or does away with or relaxes one of the least [important] of these commandments and teaches men so shall be called least [important] in the kingdom of heaven, but he who practices them and teaches others to do so shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness (your uprightness and your right standing with God) is more than that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:17-20 AMP

Wishful Thinking?

What do you sit around and think about? Do you sit around wishing you were somebody else or have somebody else’s life? Do you sit around telling yourself how poor you are? Do you sit around constantly feeling sorry for yourself about basically nothing? Do you sit around wishing you had a house like your neighbors because your house is in shambles?

Wishing or thinking about having, doing, or being someone else or obtaining their lifestyle is called Covetousness! It is lusting or desiring after what they have ~ and I bet you thought lust was just a sexual thing. Nope the bible says anytime you want what someone else has is coveting (lusting). Here is a scripture to confirm what I am saying! It's the Tenth Commandment!

You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:7 NLT

What did you say? I know that is the question you are asking. Well there is also a scripture in the bible that tells us to mind our own business! Hmm! This refers to taking care of your own affairs in your household.

Indeed, we hear that some among you are disorderly [that they are passing their lives in idleness, neglectful of duty], being busy with other people’s affairs instead of their own and doing no work. Now we charge and exhort such persons [as ministers in Him exhorting those] in the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that they work in quietness and earn their own food and other necessities. And as for you, brethren, do not become weary or lose heart in doing right [but continue in well-doing without weakening]. II Thessalonians 3:11-13 AMP.

If we are instructing our children of their household responsibilities, keeping the house clean, making sure the meals of the household are being prepared, even taking time to teach them the Word, you are not idle enough to consider or observe what your neighbor is doing. Even if it crosses your mind to covet, cast it down immediately and be happy for those who have the things you wish you had. God will bless you in time and when he knows you are able to receive his blessings! And when you do, receive them with Thanksgiving!

There are those who curse their father and mother and feel themselves faultless despite their many sins. They are proud beyond description, arrogant, disdainful. They devour the poor with teeth as sharp as knives!There are two things never satisfied, like a leech forever craving more: no, three things! no, four! Hell, the barren womb, a barren desert, fire. Proverbs 30:11-16 TLB

Who Are You Befriending?

Proceed with Caution!

What can I say about relationships? Well, I can say relationships are still difficult for many of us. There are many aspects as to why more relationships fail than succeed; however, if the constant denominator of one failing after another points back to you, then a change needs to be made in you not the people you previously had a relationship with.

It is hard for any of us to admit you are not perfect; so why do you expect someone else to be? I know because, I was a person who judged and criticized but would get offended when my spouse would do the same to me. So don’t point the finger at the other person when you are the instigator. Nope it’s not easy to take a good look at you, but it’s necessary! Start today and begin to take responsibility for you and you only. To say, “Well he/she was yelling too”; or “Well he/she hit me first”, or “He/she stayed out all night, so I did it so they know how it feels”, or my all time favorite, “Well he/she cheated first, so I did it too”!

Whoa! Stop, Sit down, and count backwards from 100! It’s a challenge most people will accept; however, you will hesitate, draw a blank at times, and skip some numbers. If you don’t believe me, try it now ~ and count fast, just like counting forward. I know you are asking what this has to do with relationships, if you watch people do this, the concentration is profound and they keep at it until they get it right! Aren’t you and a healthy marriage worth the determination to get it right too?

Most of your behavior and characteristics are subliminally taught at home that can hinder a healthy relationship, but it is not the determining factor. As mentioned, you have to take responsibility for your own actions and admit your faults. Once we become an adult, whatever you endured as a child or experienced, should not continue to dictate bad behavior in you. Forgiveness is healing and needs to be present so you can become whole and happy.  You might have had an abusive parent, a parent who is critical, loud and obnoxious, or who lives in fear of trying new things; more than likely you will adopt the behavior. Don’t get discouraged though because there is always hope and anyone can change, with God’s help, from Glory to Glory if they so desire!

The union or marriage will have problems, but the problem solver is God and He never loses a battle! He always has a simple solution to what we think is a huge problem; and He is the first step to a healthy and lasting relationship. 

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end, but love goes on forever. I Corinthians 13:4-8 TLB

Need I Say More!

“I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.” ~ Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa understood the importance of division. If you are anti-anything, Christ is not in you! I have used this quote before, but this is how we have grown farther and farther away, even in our churches to fear, separation, hate, lying, and opposition of one another!

If you are not in Christ Jesus, you do not understand the powerful symbolic meaning of the blood that was shed. Jesus took the keys of Heaven and hell and “All” power is in His hands~ yet we bow down to Satan’s ways.

In John 14:27 (TLB) Jesus said, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

The Christian who is pure and without fault, from God the Father’s point of view, is the one who takes care of orphans and widows, and who remains true to the Lord—not soiled and dirtied by his contacts with the world. James 1:27 (TLB)

If a man comes into your church dressed in expensive clothes and with valuable gold rings on his fingers, and at the same moment another man comes in who is poor and dressed in threadbare clothes, ³ and you make a lot of fuss over the rich man and give him the best seat in the house and say to the poor man, “You can stand over there if you like or else sit on the floor”—well, ⁴ judging a man by his wealth shows that you are guided by wrong motives.

⁵ Listen to me, dear brothers: God has chosen poor people to be rich in faith, and the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs, for that is the gift God has promised to all those who love him. ⁶ And yet, of the two strangers, you have despised the poor man. Don’t you realize that it is usually the rich men who pick on you and drag you into court? ⁷ And all too often they are the ones who laugh at Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear.

⁸ Yes indeed, it is good when you truly obey our Lord’s command, “You must love and help your neighbors just as much as you love and take care of yourself.” ⁹ But you are breaking this law of our Lord’s when you favor the rich and fawn over them; it is sin. James 2:2-9 (TLB)

The proof is in the "putting" ~ your own ways, not Christ's!

Pick Something!

"Do you want the spider man bike", I asked my three year old grandson. "No", he said. "I want the pink bike". So I get the pink bike out and he starts crying and running away; and while he's running away crying he's saying, "I want the spider man bike. So I take the pink bike back to put on the porch and he starts crying again, "No, I want the pink bike". 

Finally I walk away and decide they are both staying there and if he doesn't know what he wants I don't either. I let him cry until he realized, I was not getting up anymore to hand him the pink or the spider man bike. 

I knew he was sleepy and nothing I did would satisfy him anyway. I found out it didn't matter whether it was his cars, the bikes, or watching TV. Anything I did was not what he really wanted. No matter how tired a child is, they will fight it with every breath they have. And yes, I'm the adult here and have control over the situation; however, I wanted him to stay awake a little longer to eat dinner and then take a late nap; whereas, both his parents work odd hours. So for him to take a nap from 6pm to 7 pm is not an issue. 

It was Friday, cook's night off, so he had chicken tenders and fries from Arby's. He was able to eat at least five fries and about two bites of his chicken tenders before he fell asleep at the table. He just couldn't fight it anymore. 

Then I had a revelation. I realized that's how God feels when we pray and really don't know what we truly want. We are just like my grandson~ Indecisive! God can't make the decision for us. If you are not confident in your decisions, then don't get upset when you do not get an answer. He doesn't get frustrated either, He just says "Call on me when you are ready"!

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 
James 1:5-8 NIV

Yes! I Have Time!

"Here sweetheart, I'll put that book back, you go and play".

"Move out of the way, I'll clean up these toys. You go watch TV"!

"Get out of the way, I'll make the bed; you are not doing it right"!

I'll show you later how to make this meatloaf, I need to get it done and I can do it quicker. You'll just be in the way"!

When we do not educate our children at home and I'm not talking about book education, I'm talking about domestic and relationship education, we handicap our children. They grow up and develop a fear of cooking, a fear of mowing the grass, a fear of raising a child, a fear of cleaning, a fear of being accepted, or a fear of anything in life they should have learned at home. 

I know you are asking how is it fear, all they have to do is do it! It's not that easy, when they are not confident of how to do it. When we do not know how, we fear it. I don't know how to cook ~ Fear! I don't know how to mow the lawn ~ Fear! I don't know how to care for a baby ~ Fear! Because we as a parent also fear they are not going to do it right, we are telling our children you are not capable of doing it or another way to look at it is you are not willing to take the time to teach them. When you avoid the issue, you handicap your child for the necessary growth they need in life. 

You as a parent first have to develop patience, and time is on your side, so there is no hurry when it comes to establishing a relationship with your child. When you are in the kitchen with your daughter, even at a young age, you are developing a relationship with them. Father's when you are showing your son how to mow the lawn, you are developing a relationship with your son. They are not going to do it right the first time, SO WHAT, it doesn't make it wrong. The more anyone does something, the better they become and the more confident they become in doing it. Remember, you too were a student at one time in the book of life and without someone taking the time with you, you would not have learned it either. 

The idea of doing it for your child and not showing them "how to" is doing them a dis-service.

Proverbs 16:27~ Idle hands are the devil's workshop, idle lips are his mouthpiece, literally, "A worthless man devises mischief, and in his lips there is a scorching fire". https://www.biblegateway.com/

A 25 year research study by Marty Rossman of the University of Mississippi has proven that children as young as the age of 2 can be taught how to make their bed~ believe it or not I started my children at the age of 2 to make their bed. No it's not going to be done correct the first time, and do not do it over, because you will deplete their efforts. Truly make over how they made it and each time they get better. Please read this article at your earliest convenience at http://www.dailyrecord.com/story/life/family/2015/07/13/study-finds-kids-chores-good-thing/30097541/ and remember you are your child's caretaker and teacher also, so stop the nonsense of it takes too much time to teach them ~ you have nothing but time because in a short time they will be out of the house entering into adulthood and your time will not be your own if you don't. They will consume it even as an adult because they will constantly be at your doorstep demanding help! 

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:2 A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted, 3  A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up, 4 A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away, 7 A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak, 8 A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 AMP

Finish Strong!

Have You Been to God's House?

Beauty Starts Within!

I have vivid memories of my short-lived college semester at Indiana State University in 1979/80 school year (smile) of an experience that changed how I view others.

I lived on the fifth floor of a co-ed dorm and one day after class, me and my roommate arrived at the elevator at the same time. When the elevator came down to the first floor, a very tall young lady was already on there going up. My roommate looked at me and whispered, "Be careful of her she is really mean". So I asked her, "How do you know. Has she been mean to you"? She quickly said, "No, but other people have said so and she never smiles at anyone, she just gives them mean looks". So we got off on our floor and as we were getting off, I glanced back at her one more time. She noticed me looking at her and made eye contact; but with no emotion.

She was a very tall slim African American woman, probably about 6 ft or better. On the outside, she had a manly look about her (She reminded me of Sojourner Truth. If anyone knows the history, she was very tall and manly looking woman who is known for her speech on racial inequalities "Ain't I a Woman"? because back then of her height and facial features, they called her a man. However, history tells us that she was a very intelligent and kind woman). 

My actions showed how foolish I was until about 3 weeks after our first encounter, the elevator came down and she was the only one on there. I said, "Hi",  to her as I got on the elevator and she knew what floor I was going to and said in the most friendliest voice, "I pushed floor 5 for you". I thanked her and stood to the back of the elevator. Yep, I am thinking what you are thinking ~ They said she was mean. Well, well, well ~ not at all. We talked while we were riding to our floors.

The elevator came to my floor first and I was actually sad to get off because while we were talking, all of the fear, accusations, and negative view I had of her quickly subsided. She was kind, very intelligent, giving, and had a wonderful sense of humor. Without me saying anything, she mentioned that she knew everyone talked about her; whereas, she couldn't understand why because she does not bother anyone. She said in a soft voice, "I just stay to myself". My heart went out to her, because I could tell she was hurt by it and really wanted friends. On the way to my room, I told myself that I just met the most beautiful woman, whom I judged just like the others from her looks.

Sojourner Truth

When my roommate came in that evening, I told her, "The girl you said was mean, was on the elevator with me today". She gasped and asked if she talked to me. "Yes", I said, "and she is the sweetest girl I have ever met". Whether I convinced her that she was a kind girl or not, I was not going to treat her as though she was a monster, nor was I going to listen to hear say without the facts anymore. Because, I was just as guilty of slander as they were. Of course, out of spreading gossip more than feeling guilty in how she treated the young lady, my roommate told as many girls on campus as she could what was said.

The interesting thing is, I know God allowed that to happen for a reason; and thirty years later this story is being told to those who still look on the outer appearance and not the heart~ just like God told Samuel, when he went to Jesse's house to choose a king!

But the Lord said to Samuel, Look not on his appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. I Samuel 16:7 AMP