Dating 101- Week 1

I did a term paper, not a research paper, on “Why Americans have the highest divorce rate compared to other countries”. I chose two countries, Japan and India, and browsed a few others just to see if there was a parallel or contrast between them. 

I know the term paper was on divorce; however, I got distracted while gathering information. It amazed me how the majority of foreign countries do not know the definition of the word “date”. In Japan, their definition of a date is all of the teenagers go out in supervised groups and enjoy each others’ company. The boys sit together and the girls sit together.

What amazed me with this social event was the respect they have for each other. There was no animosity or jealousy among them; and for most of the group event, laughter prevailed.

For the month of February, I would like to have a survey of my own on dating. 

Each week I will ask a simple question. You will have a choice of four answers to choose from. Please choose only one answer in your comments.

 What is your definition of a date? Is it:

a)     Getting together to have sex

b)     Cruising the Strip

c)     Going out to a nice restaurant and the movies afterwards

d)     Holding hands while walking in the park

If you comment, please respond appropriately (no profanity).

Can You Breathe?

Go ahead and keep smoking! I’m not condoling it at all, nor am I going to provide information that is encouraging~ especially for young children who inhale the second hand smoke.

Research has been proven that infants, toddlers and children who are exposed to second hand smoke develop numerous ear infections, pneumonia, and bronchitis that will eventually develop hearing loss as teenagers as well as brain damage. In addition you are causing your children to be at risk for cancer 100 times more than those who are not exposed to second hand smoke. (http://www.entnet.org/content/secondhand-smoke-and-children)

My son had severe asthma and allergies growing up and it did not matter who the person was; husband, Mother, Father, Uncle etc. they did NOT smoke in my house, car, or in the vicinity of my child or my house. As a parent, you have control over your smoking enough to wait until you get to a place where you are not affecting anyone with the second hand smoke~ Better yet, you can stop smoking yourself. It is selfish and costly to you and your child when you are constantly taking them to the doctor for ear infections, bronchitis, and pneumonia – and you are being ignorant of how it affects their lives!

I am excited that many states have developed a fine to anyone smoking in the car with children under the age of 18. Some states it’s under the age of 15, others are under 14, but I am not sure it is Indiana yet, but if it isn’t, it still should be something as a Mother you do not expose your child to~ even if you smoke.  

Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.  Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing. Philippians 2:3,4 TLB

Today's order is "Thrills of Challenge"

“Menu for Success” ~ Sandwich - Thrills of Challenge

I enjoy a good challenge. Especially when it’s something, I have no knowledge of or unfamiliar with the thing or concept.

Many of us have had many, many, many challenges in life that are not thrilling. With all sincerity, they can become stumbling blocks; if we don’t lose heart and give up! For example: I signed up years ago to tutor adults who are illiterate. (I never did get to tutor anyone; whereas, the student I was assigned to tutor could not meet at the scheduled times due to her work schedule; whereas, I started back to school to complete my Associate’s Degree).

I was wondering why we had to go through training, and after doing so, I found out that many of the persons wanting to learn how to read hid their illiteracy all their life. And now their dream of learning to read was approaching; many, not all, became fearful of losing others respect.

So how do you gain the trust of someone who already has a low self-esteem of themselves; when it comes to reading? They don’t know you; and the courage it took for them to reach that point was a challenge.

It starts with prayer, humility and faith in God to show love and understanding, so they too, can prosper!

And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands. When the Philistine came forward to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine. David put his hand into his bag and took out a stone and slung it, and it struck the Philistine, sinking into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth. So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck down the Philistine and slew him. But no sword was in David’s hand. I Samuel 17: 47-50 AMP

The Journey gets better!

I pray many of you understand the concept of “Menu for Success”. Here is a review of the appetizers to refresh and stimulate your mind to:

·         Be Ambitious to read the bible

·         Have a good Mental Attitude towards others who are struggling

·         Knowledge of who you are and whose you are

·         Discipline yourself to receive spiritual food daily

·         Obtain Aspiration to work towards in your spiritual growth

·         Dream big

·         Have Objectives in mind

·         Establish Self-Respect

·         Become Confident to step out and find out what God wants you to do

·         Show Dedication to your family and your church home

·         Shed negative baggage (hate, lust, jealousy) with Sincerity

·         Understand your Self-Esteem will increase as you give your time and money to others

·         Amaze strangers how your Good Appearance shows on the inside as well as the outside

It’s been fabulous to present a small taste of “goodness” and it gets better as we go! I am now ready to introduce the “sandwiches” of “Menu for Success” ~ I hope you’re hungry!

I've been down one time, I've been down two times............

Level 1    

                                                                     

Does he believe in God?                                            

Is he saved?                                                               

Is he a virgin?                                                             

How many women has he dated?

Level 2 

                                                                        

What does he do for a living?

Was he raised by his parents or one parent?    

Observe how he treats his Mother; because the way he treats her is the way he will treat you

How mature is he? Example: If you ask a personal question such as:What are the two importantc characteristics he likes in a woman? Does he answer it sincerely and with confidence, or does he hesitate?

Level 3

                                                                       

Do you believe in God?                                             

Are you saved?                                                          

Are you a virgin?
What do you do for a living?

Level 4

What are you willing to change to improve you?

How confident are you of your love for yourself? (Not in a conceited way, but Godly love).

                                                                                   

How mature are you? Example: If he truly does have a flat tire on his way over to pick you up, how do you respond? Will you ask him can you help (even though you know you don’t know how to change a tire); or will you get an attitude and accuse him of lying to avoid the date?

                                                                                   

Are you willing to date him for at least 6 months or more to develop a friendship first?

All of these questions for both male and female are not, at all, off limit questions. We as Americans become enamored with external affairs and forget about the whole being of a person.  We also need to be mindful, as women, of our contribution to the relationship. It is very easy to look at someone and critique them; however, are you willing to be critiqued?

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:37-40 ESV

Reason or Faith!

Just this morning I wanted to listen to the podcast at my local church and went into my parents spare bedroom, turned up the volume (with the door open) and began.  In the midst of trying to listen to the pastor’s sermon, the TV in the living room was on with a Hallmark movie, and the TV in my Father’s room had CNN on about politics

I could not focus on the sermon. I was hearing both of the television programs at the same time, but not really listening to what they or the pastor was saying.

So I got up, closed the door and “Oh Wow”, the outside noise was immediately muted. I sat down to listen to the sermon again and it was amazing how I could hear it loud and clear, without any distractions.

I soon had a revelation of how, we as a people, have a vision or goal, and get off the beaten path with distractions (unexpected pregnancy, served a judgment for a credit card bill you thought was forgiven, or your business has gone bankrupt). Some menial, and others major; however, the distraction, many of us don’t realize that doing something as simple as closing the door so the atmosphere is quiet enough to think and meditate on a plan of action; that once God gives you the wisdom to overcome it~ calms the storm!

And in the fourth watch [between 3:00—6:00 a.m.] of the night, Jesus came to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified and said, It is a ghost! And they screamed out with fright. But instantly He spoke to them, saying, Take courage! I Am! Stop being afraid! And Peter answered Him, Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water. He said, Come! So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water, and he came toward Jesus. But when he perceived and felt the strong wind, he was frightened, and as he began to sink, he cried out, Lord, save me [from death]!Instantly Jesus reached out His hand and caught and held him, saying to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Matthew 14:25-31 AMP

Can [ I ] come over?

Is your life a peaceful one? Hmm! I know the answers will be diverse; and many of you would say “yes”!

I’m not sure you are aware what it is to have “peace” and to be “peaceful”! I can tell you first what “peace” isn’t! It is not full of gossip, covetousness, or self pity. So when all hell breaks loose (per say); we sigh, become frustrated and discouraged and ask yourself (why you sit in the middle of the floor crying), “Where have I gone wrong?”

We seek others who lives are definitely not in order, or run from ourselves because deep down, we know if we had to be alone to evaluate ourselves; we will not like what we see!

There are things in our lives that happen, in addition to our worldly thoughts and ways that do disrupt our peace. Such as; the loss of a loved one, or your house catches fire and burns down; whereas, the load is too heavy for us to bear! If we do not understand who we are and whose we are, we will fall ~ apart! How do we rest, when our lives and thoughts are in disarray?

He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound]. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and [selected] young men shall feebly stumble and fall exhausted; But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:29-31 AMP

Agreed!

I know many of you are not familiar with the (1977-1987) sitcom, “The Love Boat”. (Smiling) Probably not! Well if any of you have cable and are at home, it comes on METV daily at 9:30 am. 

The episode, I just watched, depicted how a divorced couple’s young son’s intentions were to re-unite his parents.

Of course they were oblivious of each other being on the cruise; and when the two saw each other at the cocktail party, they were very cordial and even decided to enjoy each other’s company while they were on the cruise. They reminisced of their previous life, and even had a good laugh that it wasn’t a coincidence they were there ~ together.

It was just a breath of fresh air (even though this was on TV) to see divorced couples being mature, cordial and even communicating as adults should do. They even laughed about how their son loves them both so much as to go behind the scenes to plan this cruise (in hopes); they would fall in love again and re-marry. After all it was the “Love Boat”, cruise!

It brought back old memories of couples who were truly mature, did not argue, cuss, or fight in front of their children, and they knew how to be men and women, of conduct, no matter where they were at.

What does all of the arguing, fighting, cussing, hitting and destroying your home do, but cause hurt feelings, hurt and bruised people, a destroyed home, and even emotions that are skewed. Well my question to this chaos is did you accomplish anything?

So keep letting Satan (the thief) have his way in your home, your emotions and your marriage ~ once again:

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)”. John 10:10 AMP

Appetizer # 13

# 13 Good Appearance – proper dress and hygiene

My Grandmother would get so upset with us if we were going to an event and did not dress up. She would tell us, “You are representing this family and if you think you are going anywhere with me looking like that, you’d better think again”! And by all means shower and wear perfume (if you are a woman) and cologne (for men). Of course bathe first!




She would even say, "Even if you go to the gym to work out, your perfume should be your signature smell ~ always"! Think about it ~ we all remember a fellow student in school we knew by their smell  - now didn't we? We didn't even have to turn around, they could be just in the vacinity and we knew they were there!

That statement and the habit of making sure I look nice, even if I’m going to get groceries, was instilled in me at a young age, and I constantly hear her words in my head that, many times, I have turned around and changed my clothes.  

So many people do not understand first impressions speak loud and clear ~ like going to a job interview. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a factory job, a janitorial job, or a nursing job; you should arrive dressed up. If you do not have a nice dress and shoes, borrow some; and the same for men who do not have a suit and tie.

When you look your best and you show up to a job interview in proper attire; rest assured, you made a good impression in more ways than just your conduct and intelligence.

Adorn yourself with eminence and dignity, And clothe yourself with honor and majesty. Job 40:10 NAS

Actually, I Can!

I do understand that people who are addicted to something can be hard to deal with and they are severely hurting inside, in addition to the devil having a stronghold on their thoughts. Most of the time, we go out of the way to help, even to the point of making ourselves run down, sick, or even depressed; because we are trying to do what only God can do.

If it’s not the way we feel it should be done, (Quick, fast, and in a hurry); we become frustrated, disengaged, and even hard hearted. We say, “What’s the use; or “I give up”! Well, DO NOT give up ~ on prayer, because it changes thing and it changes people. We will not always have the final decision, God does; but we have the opportunity to present our cares to Him.

There are many of our loved ones who have addictions who do not overcome their affliction, but there are many who do and in turn; reach out and help others who are fallen comrades.

So before we exalt ourselves with the power of healing, helping and convicting, humble ourselves before God (on bended knee) with prayer, faith, and trust, He will take care of what concerns us. His word says, The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands. Psalm 138:8 KJV.

I SEE You!

Was that an accident or did you intend to go out with your bottom showing? Noooooo, I want to believe it's a mistake. Well if you did, can I please give you a few tips on proper attire?

It hasn’t been that long ago when people left the house, especially women, with class. Their hair was styled, their clothes were ironed, their shoes were shined and polished, their clothes did not show any tears or dirt on them, and they smelled nice. (ALL WOMEN ARE NOT BUILT THE SAME, SO WEAR CLOTHES THAT COMPLIMENT YOUR SHAPE)

As a child, it didn't matter what time of the day, what day of the week, hot or cold; you never saw Mr. Deacon Jenkins in anything else but a suit, white shirt, tie, and hat. (Picture above is not actual person) Now I know many of you are taking this literally. No one would work out in a suit; but there are locker rooms to change once you get there (smile) Or you would not wear a dress and heals to play softball. But to put it in perspective, we should iron our clothes before we put them on; and make sure we will not get noticed for indecent exposure!

Fashion trends come and go and torn jeans are a big trend now; however, it depends where they are torn and how you wear them. For instance, torn around the bottom and your bottom shows ~ Oops! Whew ~ put on a nice pair of stylish leggings underneath them, and wear a nice shirt, put on make-up and sport a cute hair style ~ as shown below

INAPPROPRIATE!

APPROPRIATE!

Proper dress does not have to be uncomfortable or dressed up all the time. Carry yourself with respect and you will receive likewise. After all you are representing God, your family and yourself!

WORK ATTIRE

But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh [put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature] to [gratify its] desires (lusts). Romans 13:14 AMP