Dating 101- Week 1

I did a term paper, not a research paper, on “Why Americans have the highest divorce rate compared to other countries”. I chose two countries, Japan and India, and browsed a few others just to see if there was a parallel or contrast between them. 

I know the term paper was on divorce; however, I got distracted while gathering information. It amazed me how the majority of foreign countries do not know the definition of the word “date”. In Japan, their definition of a date is all of the teenagers go out in supervised groups and enjoy each others’ company. The boys sit together and the girls sit together.

What amazed me with this social event was the respect they have for each other. There was no animosity or jealousy among them; and for most of the group event, laughter prevailed.

For the month of February, I would like to have a survey of my own on dating. 

Each week I will ask a simple question. You will have a choice of four answers to choose from. Please choose only one answer in your comments.

 What is your definition of a date? Is it:

a)     Getting together to have sex

b)     Cruising the Strip

c)     Going out to a nice restaurant and the movies afterwards

d)     Holding hands while walking in the park

If you comment, please respond appropriately (no profanity).

Can You Breathe?

Go ahead and keep smoking! I’m not condoling it at all, nor am I going to provide information that is encouraging~ especially for young children who inhale the second hand smoke.

Research has been proven that infants, toddlers and children who are exposed to second hand smoke develop numerous ear infections, pneumonia, and bronchitis that will eventually develop hearing loss as teenagers as well as brain damage. In addition you are causing your children to be at risk for cancer 100 times more than those who are not exposed to second hand smoke. (http://www.entnet.org/content/secondhand-smoke-and-children)

My son had severe asthma and allergies growing up and it did not matter who the person was; husband, Mother, Father, Uncle etc. they did NOT smoke in my house, car, or in the vicinity of my child or my house. As a parent, you have control over your smoking enough to wait until you get to a place where you are not affecting anyone with the second hand smoke~ Better yet, you can stop smoking yourself. It is selfish and costly to you and your child when you are constantly taking them to the doctor for ear infections, bronchitis, and pneumonia – and you are being ignorant of how it affects their lives!

I am excited that many states have developed a fine to anyone smoking in the car with children under the age of 18. Some states it’s under the age of 15, others are under 14, but I am not sure it is Indiana yet, but if it isn’t, it still should be something as a Mother you do not expose your child to~ even if you smoke.  

Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.  Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing. Philippians 2:3,4 TLB

Agreed!

I know many of you are not familiar with the (1977-1987) sitcom, “The Love Boat”. (Smiling) Probably not! Well if any of you have cable and are at home, it comes on METV daily at 9:30 am. 

The episode, I just watched, depicted how a divorced couple’s young son’s intentions were to re-unite his parents.

Of course they were oblivious of each other being on the cruise; and when the two saw each other at the cocktail party, they were very cordial and even decided to enjoy each other’s company while they were on the cruise. They reminisced of their previous life, and even had a good laugh that it wasn’t a coincidence they were there ~ together.

It was just a breath of fresh air (even though this was on TV) to see divorced couples being mature, cordial and even communicating as adults should do. They even laughed about how their son loves them both so much as to go behind the scenes to plan this cruise (in hopes); they would fall in love again and re-marry. After all it was the “Love Boat”, cruise!

It brought back old memories of couples who were truly mature, did not argue, cuss, or fight in front of their children, and they knew how to be men and women, of conduct, no matter where they were at.

What does all of the arguing, fighting, cussing, hitting and destroying your home do, but cause hurt feelings, hurt and bruised people, a destroyed home, and even emotions that are skewed. Well my question to this chaos is did you accomplish anything?

So keep letting Satan (the thief) have his way in your home, your emotions and your marriage ~ once again:

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)”. John 10:10 AMP

Together Forever?

Brides, Brides, Brides! I used to work at David’s Bridal in 2004 for about 8 months and was able to experience the mentality of many of our young women. Your special day is important and the event is something you want to create memories to look back in history to cherish and share with your children and grandchildren. However, when it becomes an event full of conflict and chaos; changes need to be made!

I do not own the rights to this image 

You pick out the colors, you decide where the event will be, you pick out the flowers, you decide who will be in the wedding, and you decide who will attend. ‘WAIT A MINUTE”. I thought you were getting married. Too many women focus on the event more than the marriage. The event last a day and the marriage should last a lifetime. The planning should be done together. 

I do not own the right to this image 

Now the groom, by tradition, is not supposed to see the dress until the day of the wedding. In my opinion, if the bride comes in more concerned about impressing others, by the elaborate event, than she does her future husband~ there is work to do!

I do not own the right to this photo 

I would like to briefly mention, a substantial number of brides came back a few months later begging for their money back on the dress, because the future husband abandoned her. I did show them compassion; however, all sales are final at David's Bridal! 

Without Christ the marriage will not last anyway; however, two totally opposite people are joined together for a reason. You have qualities he doesn’t have and he has qualities you don’t have. For example: He may cook better than you, and you enjoy cleaning more than him. Therefore, you shouldn’t make him feel less of a man because he likes to cook, and he shouldn’t make you feel less of a woman because you don’t.  Encourage and support one another! And by all means, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE ~ OFTEN!

He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:21 AMP

Keep it "Reel"?

Reel (v) -  means to behave in a violent disorderly manner

I know what’s it’s like to live in a house with someone and still feel lonely. We continue to adjust our lives to show our love and keep the peace; yet they ignore it and continue controlling or overpowering us. Not realizing we are being what a true wife or husband should be and that’s being submissive (keeping confrontation and chaos out of the house); and being the help the other one needs.

Being in a relationship is not about power, dominance or control. If you are doing these things (which many don’t realize until that person is gone) then STOP it. Ladies, I’m talking about many of you. Recently I have had conversations with women who feel they have a right to degrade their husbands, clean out the checking account, and refuse to do anything around the house etc (being vindictive). No one deserves that type of treatment, especially when they have done nothing but show you over and over they care – by their actions.

I am appalled at how young women today (and some old) act. It might please your friends, but it doesn’t please God. No one wants to be alone or lonely; but to continue controlling another with your selfish ways, will lead to relationships that will fail ~ one after another! Again we don’t see our behavior, nor do we want to admit we are at fault for any of the chaos

I will say 95% of husbands love their wives and are not actually seeking another woman; it’s your insecurities that are making you feel that way (most of it stems from your past or a past relationship you are still re-living), not his! If you have not healed from your past or not aware and find yourself always angry about something, the change needs to begin with you; in which only God can change people so seek the bible, a good spiritual mentor; and begin anew before you encounter being in a healthy relationship!

If either wife or husband is constantly verbally abusing or physically abusing their spouse; then definitely get out of the relationship. However, as I mentioned previously, a good man will show you by his actions, he cares ~ as well as a good woman.

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:21-25 AMP

Give God the Praise!

All of those who are reading this prayer know pain, loss, 

sickness, lack, hunger, or even loneliness. God has 

healed us, seeks us daily, provided for us, fed us, 

comforted us, and (unconditionally) loves us. Give God 

the praise for Grace (undeserved favor) He deserves so 

you can boast about Him to others~ and they too, will 

become believers! Amen! And so it is!

Let Go!

It’s total chaos, detrimental to your health, and can be painful at times; yet you still do it anyway. We do it because it’s familiar~ not necessarily comfortable. We get out of our comfort zone; we become frustrated, angry (for no reason), argumentative, and resentful ~ even though it can be disastrous to our life.

Abraham and Sarah were comfortable and familiar with their country, their family, and their home. As the scripture below says, it was to Abraham’s advantage to leave what was familiar and comfortable to him; and God will bless him with abundant increase and favor and make Abraham’s name famous.

Now [in Haran] the Lord said to Abram, Go for yourself [for your own advantage] away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you [with abundant increase of favors] and make your name famous and distinguished, and you will be a blessing [dispensing good to others]. And I will bless those who bless you [who confer prosperity or happiness upon you] and ^[a]curse him who curses or uses insolent language toward you; in you will all the families and kindred of the earth be blessed [and by you they will bless themselves]. So Abram departed, as the Lord had directed him; and Lot [his nephew] went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran. Genesis 12:1-4 AMP

How many of us would be willing to leave everything we are comfortable with and familiar with and go to an unfamiliar place as well as leave all of those we love behind? Many of us probably would not; however, Abraham and Sarah obeyed. God knew that in order to bless Abraham, he needed to get away from his family, who were negatively influencing him and causing chaos and confusion in his life.

[Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go. Hebrews 11:8 AMP

Being obedient to Christ is not always comfortable or familiar. Whereas, God will not ask us to do anything that will harm us or hinder us from living. However, many of us resist his promptings. God is more concerned about our character than He is our comfort (a true Christian friend told me). So when we obey, he will bless us (in His timing) with abundance and favor; but not the abundance we as earthly humans are thinking (abundance in wisdom [which surpasses money] knowledge of the word, health in the body, true friendships, building character, and joy, just to name a few).  Believe in Him and in His unconditional love for us and see how your life is transformed from darkness to light!

Food for thought – He will bless us with money when we are ready to handle it. And when we are blessed with money, we are to be a blessing to others.