No, I am not an expert
on relationships, but God is. I'm positive, the direction here is
husband and wife relationships; because there are numerous
relationships that fall under the relationship category. We have
working relationships, friendships, Mother and child relationship,
Father and child relationship, siblings, and the most important, a relationship
with Christ!
That's a good question
for you to ask yourself while you are reading this? What is your
relationship with Christ? Keep that question in mind as I resume with
the subject at hand ~ "A husband and wife relationship”.
All relationships take
work, commitment, and “love”! I put love in parenthesis because,
we all view love as a feeling instead of an action! Feelings
are never to be put at the forefront of anything; because they
are fickle. Think about it, our emotions can change like the wind!
Most feelings are birthed from our own selfish desires! How
can we remove self out of the way, and be joined with “us”
or “we”?
Good question! We
can't; because all of us are born sinners! We all come in this
world demanding, wanting; with manipulation, lies, and deceit! All of
these behaviors are our natural carnal instinct! In other words, they
are natural born to us! I know many of you have heard, “We all are
born sinners”! Well that's why!
Therefore, as sin came into the world through one man, and death as the result of sin, so death spread to all men, [no one being able to stop it or to escape its power] because all men sinned. (Romans 5:12 AMP)
If you will recall,
because of one man's sin, it passed down through all generations –
and the man many will recognize is Adam. When Adam and Eve allowed
the serpent to deceive them in the Garden of Eden, all of what Satan
is was handed down to us; deceit, lying, manipulation, deadly
diseases, sexual sin, homosexuality, control, anger, hate,
covetousness (which is the desires of what others have), jealousy ~
whew, I am going to stop, because the list goes on, and could take up
too much of your time, and mine! That's what Satan's intention is
also! He blind sides you into thinking, “You have no hope”! And you don't, when you
don't know better or know there is a better way!
A good and healthy
relationship, first, begins with commitment. Am I committed to
this union? Will I sacrifice hanging out with my friends, when my spouse or child is sick? Will I give them my all (100%) of me; or will
I conceal only part of who I am, and give the good of me to others? What is
it that you are honestly afraid of? Afraid of being hurt? Afraid of
rejection, when you pour out your all? Perhaps, you are afraid of
being taken advantage of? "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind". (II Timothy 1:7 KJV)
All of us have experienced one or more of the questions asked, and survived. The questions is, how will I respond to being rejected, hurt, being taken advantage of; or sacrificing so-called friends for family? Do you respond in fear, which produces anger; or in love and respect; which keeps the peace and harmony in the household! Remember it takes two to argue!
All of us have experienced one or more of the questions asked, and survived. The questions is, how will I respond to being rejected, hurt, being taken advantage of; or sacrificing so-called friends for family? Do you respond in fear, which produces anger; or in love and respect; which keeps the peace and harmony in the household! Remember it takes two to argue!
If you are not
committed to God, you will not be committed to anything or anyone!
That's why I first mentioned commitment. Once you establish a
relationship with Christ, He gives you everything else you need;
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control! (Galatians 5:22-23 TLB) It's what
produces when the Holy Spirit is in you ~ The Fruit of the Spirit!
That's why it is
necessary to be born again! When you are baptized in water, the
symbolism of being dunked under (dying of the old self, the sinful
you), to be raised with Christ, when you are brought up, (the
symbolism of being born again in the Spirit)!
11 When you came to Christ, he set you free from your evil desires, not by a bodily operation of circumcision but by a spiritual operation, the baptism of your souls. 12 For in baptism you see how your old, evil nature died
with him and was buried with him; and then you
came up out of death with him into a new life
because you trusted the Word of the mighty God
who raised Christ from the dead.
13 You were dead in sins, and your sinful desires were
not yet cut away. Then he gave you a share in the
very life of Christ, for he forgave all your sins.
(Colossians 2:11-13 TLB)
with him and was buried with him; and then you
came up out of death with him into a new life
because you trusted the Word of the mighty God
who raised Christ from the dead.
13 You were dead in sins, and your sinful desires were
not yet cut away. Then he gave you a share in the
very life of Christ, for he forgave all your sins.
(Colossians 2:11-13 TLB)
As I mentioned
previously relationships take work. So in order to establish a
lasting relationship with Christ, it will take “work”; and a will
to want to! Once you are baptized, there is still work to be done in
you and through you! You thought the change happened over night,
didn't you? Nope, that's when the change begins. It's like a
sculptor who chips away at a piece of hardened clay little by little
to form it into a beautiful piece of art or masterpiece of artwork!
God begins to gently and lovingly remove Satan's strongholds. Some of
it is easy for you to let go, and other things will be a struggle.
Although everything God does is good and excellent; yet we still
fear the unfamiliar!
Each sculpting tool has a unique function to mold the clay, and
necessary to complete the masterpiece!
Each sculpting tool has a unique function to mold the clay, and
necessary to complete the masterpiece!
So how does this
strengthen a marriage between a husband and wife? God's love is
perfect! It has no beginning and no end! He does not put any
conditions on us to love us! It is undying, eternal, and everlasting!
We cannot say that;
because we do put conditions on others to love them. We put too many
expectations on them, we ourselves do not do, and judge with a malice
heart and soul! We focus on things about that person that disgusts
us, more than the things that pleases us! We point out their faults,
and defend our own! We allow a friend to be treated with respect and
come home and disrespect our husband/wife and children; and we ignore
their utmost needs ~ which is your friendship, trust, and commitment!
If you do not have a
relationship with Christ, you will never have a healthy
relationship with anyone! It's that simple!
God is love! He loves
perfectly and without asking anything of you! So to love your spouse
perfectly, seek Christ daily, who loves you perfectly, so you
can love your spouse the way Christ loves you! Amen!